Chapter 15 – Forbidden mysteries at midnight

by vommentplz

Soon it was dawn. I stared mournfully at the ceiling of my four-poster bed. In its velvety surface I envisaged the scruffy grin of the strange man – “Cummon Potter! Get me those.. ‘pickled troll fingers’! Ya silly todger! …Wotcha!” A month had passed since my wet run in with the most mysterious and english bloke. I had been passing hints at anyone I had met about pickled troll fingers – what they might be and why I had to steal them from Dumbledore’s office to further that guy’s questionable motives. Of course I was collecting this information in the subtlest of ways, the subject being casually integrated like a barely-noticeable butterfly’s wing upon the fair skin of an ordinary conversation (did you know the butterfly is my spirit animal? oh and the stag I guess). However, all I received were odd looks and confusion. I was stressing out over this for reeeal real. My skin was an absolute horror and I had lost some of my precious muscle mass – the delicate balance of my weight had swung from skinny yet chiselled teen to pure androgyny. I had been feeling so ugly that I avoided Malfoy and Snape as much as possible, and Hermionasty had been particularly worried and attentive. Nightmare. I sat up.

My hooded eyes (which I was, at least, rocking) suddenly alighted upon a small note at the foot of my bed. I snatched it up – the handwriting was unfamiliar: curly and fancy, but not with that spidery edge that accompanied the hand of most major Harry Potter characters. It read:

Harry. I know that which you seek, and I shalt tell thee more. Thou art in great danger. I implore thee to meet me at midnight tonight on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest. – X

Flipping flobberworms, this arsehole could’ve done this earlier and saved me a few hetero blowjobs and pimples, I thought. But at least I was getting somewhere. I reread it. The Forbidden Forest? Sounds a bit fruity to me, I thought, like a euphemism for sexy times. Super fancy language… and was that X an alias, or perhaps a kiss? Oooh everything points towards another new romantic interest! How exciting!